Ca-na-da

I received this tonight in an email. Merits sharing with y’all. I love good humour!

Cheers

T.

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, people all over the world are asking some questions.

Apparently these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were purportedly asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to  Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada ?  Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver ,  Edmonton andHalifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you’d better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing inCanada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe   Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary  Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in  Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked..

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Advertisements

Alcohol

I know quite a few people who have a problem with drinking the “Demon-drink”, alcohol.

Without exception, they have all had good reason to have become dependent upon it. For those who only drink in the evening, it gives us a few hours RELEASE from life’s grasp. It gives us a wee break from the stark reality of it all.

Problem is…alcohol is an un-natural drug that “Nature”, regardless of Evolution, has not accepted. And so, after a while…or after so many years…it eventually catches up with us and TRIES TO KILL US!

It has already killed millions and millions of people over the last few thousand years.

Will we let it kill US now?

How can we let a drug, a foreign substance that we oh-so-happily pour into us….KILL US in the end?

As for me, I cannot let it do that to me. I will fight it to the end. What will the end be? That has yet to be decided!

I think we need to kill the beast, before it kills us.

I found this fellows blog entry tonight…very poignant!  http://tribework.blogspot.com/2010/01/battling-demon-drink.html

T.

Friends on the Internet

I’ve been online for a number of years…14 I think! Hard to believe.

In all of that time, aside from my own children being here, off and on…there has only been ONE other person faithfully here during that entire time, for whom I am so grateful!

Her nick-name is, or was, “Meesh”. Meesh was here, on the Net, during a time of my life when even my children were not. It seemed that no matter what time of day that I logged-on to the Internet, she was there! We often chatted for hours. Hours, that meant more to me than she ever realized.

In fact, as I am writing this she is online! She inspired my blog entry for the night! We don’t chit-chat very much these days…both of our lives have changed quite a bit. But, she is still just as important to me today as she was years ago.

A true friend will forever be a true friend, thank God.

These are the things for which we need to be truly grateful.

Thank you…”Meesh”. And thank you, God.

T.

Life and the Spectrum of Consciousness

When we look in the mirror, we can see ourselves and know that we exist, that we have a independent identity, an independent awareness of life. What does a worm think when it looks at itself in the mirror? How could we possibly know that!? No one knows how to communicate with a worm! But is it aware of itself like we are? The answer is not “No”! The answer is that we don’t know!

I believe that consciousness—awareness—exists throughout the entire spectrum of life-forms. Recent studies have shown that many animals seem to have a sense of being self-aware, (especially dolphins incidentally). But it is not “self” awareness that I’m talking about here. I think that the total spectrum of consciousness is actually “Life” being aware of ITSELF.

A worm experiences the world completely differently than we do. Birds, elephants, snakes, flies, even single celled amoeba’s see and experience the world in a different way than we do. Bat’s and dolphins “see” with their ears! Each life-form has their own unique means of living and experiencing the world. There is even evidence to suggest that plant-life is in some sense aware.

If we put all of these forms of life together—all of the things that are “alive”, that have the life-force within them—from plants, to amoeba’s, to insects, to reptiles to fish to dolphins and whales, to mammals to humans—if we add all of those individual experiences together, isn’t it possible that the total sum equals the whole? Our separate awareness might instead be Life looking through us at itself! The only way that life could in any sense be "aware" of itself in totality, would be by creating the entire spectrum of plant and animal species, making us its witnesses, its observers, seeing itself through our eyes: Life itself seeing itself, as it totally is.

An exciting concept, don’t you think? Something to think about.

T.